Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Its #Wantedwednesday!

Hi, So its...#WANTEDWEDNESDAY...and a Mighty fine one too. 
Here's this weeks JAYnius Mailer....

Glad you came Mr. Campbell...
This week, as well as spending yet more time in the studio, we competed in a competition (as competitors often do) which is called Soccer Six. Some of you may be aware that last year we entered, and had a rather poor result. To be precise, we conceded TWENTY ONE GOALS in three games. We were proud to acknowledge not only was this a record for the day (no male, or female team conceded as many goals in as many matches), but it was also a record OF ALL TIME. Some would call it, an "all time low".

Had to be said. 
But moving on, this year not only did we make it to the quarter finals, there was also a battle of epic proportions! A battle so epic it will go down in the story books of time, and we will tell this story, now.

On an afternoon that was to become enshrouded with a red mist, a glorious team waited with baited breath, surrounded by beauties of immeasurable charm, and completely oblivious to the blood bath that awaited them. They stood, proudly and in good spirits, in a stadium of gigantic proportions, and waited for the crowd and the TW Fans to enter.

After sending one army into oblivion, Team TW faced a new challenge, two flame haired tyrants traversed the battle ground. one we will call "Creepious Maximus". The other we will call "Chesney from Coronation Street". Our Max, gazed from afar, while the crowd watched in tense anticipation of things to come. Tom battled with the most gruesome of beasts, a beast that had previously sent an army to find weapons of mass destruction that didn't exist in pursuit of capital gains- here it seems they are simply partaking in an old past-time called "the hokey kokey". But be deceived not, for Mr Alastair Campbell is in fact engaged in a mighty tussle with our young hero.

Here, after the heat of the tussle has diminished, Mr Alastair Campbell hisses mocking insults to our wounded hero, in an attempt to provoke a most vicious reaction. Our hero, young, hot headed, and from Bolton, finds it difficult to cool his temper...

Here, as young Thomas turns to confront his tormenter, a warmonger from the other team who we will call "The Minion" rushes to ambush our unsuspecting hero. As Mr Campbell loses his vigour and his jowls begin to quiver in cowardly retraction. One feeble hand raised to stop the fury about to be unleashed, unaware that this battle will not be his...

As our two warriors clash, "The Minion" versus our Tom, Mr Alistair Campbell, true to character, steps away from the heat and lets his puppet take the fall. All the while, "Creepious Maximus" whispers proper creepy wrong stuff in his ears. That could have been phrased more eloquently, but it's just THAT creepy.
As two heroes try to stop this most underhanded foul play, a high pitched giggle is heard. The Tyrant laughs openly as our ambushed grapples with "The Minion", and even pushes out one callous hand to prevent one of our heroes from stopping this madness. To quote Edwin Starr, "War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing."

After the underhanded violence came to an end, regular battle commenced, and Team TW pushed through two more battles to the quarter final, where they admitted defeat. Our hero fell victim to a nasty injury, and was carried away on a litter, as beautiful wenches in the crowd fluttered their eyelashes at his glorious wound. 

The following morning, the local scrollers did remark both on Mr Campbell's cowardliness, and some also cruelly pointed out his rather full paunch.
Here ends the tale of Team TW and soccer six. Maybe it was all exaggerated, maybe Tom overreacted, maybe the pictures are worse than the fight, maybe I slightly twisted the facts to make someone seem more like a villain than they actually were. Shucks, maybe I should be a spin doctor.
All our love.
Jay, Tom, Max, Siva & Nathan

All our love,
The lads

Max Jay Nathan Tom and Siva x
AND Here is this weeks epic #wantedwednesday flip...

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